This year has been the first time that I’ve actually had a job during the holiday season, and alongside the valuable set of skills I’ve acquired through the experience it has opened my eyes to a very large problem with our society today: the issue of all-day christmas music radio stations and the nature of their intentional ignorance and laziness. For the past two weeks I’ve heard just about every Christmas song out there get played twice a day, five days a week in a seemingly fixed rotation where the on-air personality is only present to remind you of what station is providing this oddly specific brand of torture. The good news is that it’s not that difficult for me to make it through the day there because I love listening to Christmas music.
Something special happens in Christmas songs where everybody is hoping for the circumstantially wonderful thing to happen, and that communal feeling of safety and joy is a beautiful thing to experience in song. The bad part is that not every Christmas song actually accomplishes this today despite the fact that they are all still played equally and frequently. This list features both songs which have become overly-offensive and songs which had only succeeded in the first place because of their shock value, and argues that there comes a point in time where the tradition or novelty of a song needs to be overlooked. Here are five Christmas songs which should be retired.